Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Okaye, so the day's gonna end soon, I'm feeling damn regretful and at the same time sad and all. Waking up at 1pm was something that was damn crap, I woke up much earlier but cos I lazed around and all I went back to sleep. It was sometime since I woke up so late already. Should've slept earlier, so can wake up earlier and start the day earlier as well.
Then lunch and study which is an on/off thing for me. Like gosh, I can't help leaving the com on. Talking online and stuff, then playing music and all. Then I would side-track and search for random stuff, really waste time manxz. It applies to the whole day la! I couldn't like sit still in front of my study table and like study without turning to my com and press a few buttons, something I wanna change man, I need to study!
Prelims are like starting at my face! No matter how, I have to at least study and get my grades for it this time, just to show parents! Then I can continue to my plans, of sitting down and like examine my papers and finding those questions from those topics I'm unsure of, whether Science or Maths.
Supposingly my tutor wanted to put tuition tomorrow, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Well do the math, one session $90 already, and 5 sessions is just 'go-die-lurh' for my family. Like I'm not exaclty the same as those gay fags she teaches who run around school in bloody tight-white shorts!
Plus plus, Thursday I feel I should dedicate to studying Science since it's sucha science-y day, lol. Friday have lab from 2-4pm at freaking Bukit Merah, and my appointment with Amplify Fridays but most importantly, GOD! Saturday has stuff, YCS, Amp in the city stuff, etc and Sunday is study day but also Mass day!
Well ok end of that section, go on to like this other thing that's bothering me, I know I may sound like some emo poop but who cares!
Like I've known this person for quite sometime, and now we're like drifting apart. We used to share each others problems, comfort each other and so on and eventually became closer. Went out a couple of times and stuff, yeah. Had fun and all. Eventually, this year and stuff haven't met up as many times, cos busy with own stuffs and all...recently I don't know what happened, like tried to message and stuff but to know there's no reply. I don't wanna know about what happen and stuff, but yeah! This person don't come online as often at the moment as well, and like only active in Friendster and Blog and stuff...maybe I thought like no replies to tags or comment maybe busy but made me rethink, it's like other people who like she 'dislikes' she replies but not me, thought we are supposed to be 'close' and stuffs. I'm so confused. Why should all these things happen to me??
Right now, I really don't wanna think what to do about this relationship, maybe I'm just getting too paranoid and stuff, maybe it's because I like her, maybe not. But whatever happens, I pray to you Lord, I pray that whatever happens that it maybe done to your will. I pray that you'd bless this realtionship, may it come back together and grow with not hatred, not envy, not ignorace, but with love, care, concern, patience. You're the saviour, the one that moves the mountains, the one that's might to save!!! Praise you Lord! Amen~
Well that's about it, haha I'm talking to ChaCha about random stuffs, lol. Though we were once lovers but yeah, that one cooled off already! Alright that's it, update soon!
I search for You God of strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
No other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart
*FIN
Hiaz; 9/02/2008 11:24:00 PM